Let's Talk About Sex!

If there is one sin that garners the most repentance, it HAS to be sexual immorality.  Let me start this post by saying what I know is no secret – I was not a virgin when I got married.  (I mean, I was already five months pregnant).  I’m not trying to give TMI, but I think it’s important to let my readers know that I am not some virgin bride looking down her nose at a bunch of “sinners.”  I have been there, done that, suffered the consequences, and repented.  I give this message out of love and in hopes that maybe a young lady somewhere will learn this lesson earlier than I did as a result.

We all know that God strictly forbids sex outside of the covenant of marriage.  It’s certainly no secret, but so many Christians do it anyway.  Some are ever-so-discreet about it while others are bold about it, but one thing that nobody can say is that it’s okay in the eyes of God to be sexually active with anyone other than your husband or wife.  The question is: why do we do it?  Why is it that so many Christians have come to a place where it is just okay to claim to love God and be living in outright disobedience?

The answer to this lies in yet another question: why shouldn’t we have sex outside of marriage?  I have come to find that God is not a “because I said so” father.  He absolutely wants us to have questions and seek answers in his word.  The irony is that the usual answer given when someone asks why we shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage is along the lines of “because it is not pleasing to God.”  Sure, that’s a legitimate reason, but God is SO much more complex than that.  When he tells us not to do something, it is ALWAYS for our good, and never because he “just doesn’t want us to do it.”

The Bible tells us that when we have sex with someone, we “become one flesh” with that individual.  This may not sound like much on the surface, but we must consider what flesh means in the Biblical sense.  Our flesh is that carnal, child-like part of us that causes us to need God’s grace time and time again.  The flesh is mentioned several times in the Bible, and is cited as the dwelling place for sin.  Yes, our flesh desires some things that we need (like food for nourishment), but it also desires SO many things that we don’t need (like sex outside of marriage, watching ungodly shows, or two helpings of ice cream).  This is why God tells us that we sometimes have to starve our flesh through fasting in order to strengthen our spirits.  Let me put it this way: if we let our flesh run things, we would be consumed with sin and become a punching bag for the devil!

Now back to sex – when you make a decision to have sex with someone outside of marriage, you are becoming one flesh with that person.  This means that aside from your own flesh that you battle every single day, you have now invited that person’s flesh issues in so that your spirit can battle those as well!  Just imagine – having sex with several people means that you have invited the struggles and demons of all of those people’s flesh into your life, and now YOUR spirit has to fight to keep control.  God gives us the power to defeat our own flesh, and he even loves us enough to allow us to work with our spouse to defeat both of our flesh together, but let me tell you that one person's spirit is NOT strong enough to fight the flesh of multiple people.  For this reason, God creates a special man or woman just for us – so that we can enjoy having sex under his covenant. When we have sex outside of the covenant of marriage, we are basically telling God not to cover and protect us from anything that our partner might carry in his or her flesh.  God called us to be monogamous simply because he loves us, and he wants to be that umbrella that protects us when we join our flesh with someone else’s. 

If you (like me) have had sex outside of the covenant of marriage, there is no need to fret!  A guy named Jesus died on the cross thousands of years ago for such a time as this!  All that you have to do is pray and ask God to forgive you and use the blood of Jesus to wipe away your sexual sin.  Our God is faithful, loving, and forgiving.  He won’t just make you as good as new; he will make you completely new and whole!  Thank God for grace!

Food for thought:

1 Corinthians 6:16 - Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

Galatians 5:19 -  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness

1 Corinthians 6:9 - Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men

Have an issue/idea that you would like to see in a future blog?  Email me at whitney.p.gordon@gmail.com.  It’s confidential!