Hello
again to all of my readers! First off, I
apologize for taking a hiatus for a few weeks.
Between grad school, the Atlanta snow jam, and just regular old life I
became extremely busy. I have missed
writing a lot, and I have so many things built up that it was tough to decide
what to write about today. I still owe
you all a post about my Daniel fast, but today I want to talk about something
that God has been in the process of delivering me from: the orphan mentality.
The
orphan mentality is that nagging feeling that the promises of God just don’t
work for us. We believe in God, and we
accept Jesus as our savior, but we often find ourselves navigating through life
feeling frustrated, tired, and maybe even hopeless. As its name suggests, the orphan mentality is
that of a child of God who acts as though they have no heavenly father at times. Through my personal experiences and
encounters with others, I have noticed five major habits that usually accompany
the orphan mentality.
1.Falling apart
at the slightest sign of trouble
Okay
y’all, I must admit that I have this one bad, I mean REALLY bad. The orphan doesn't have to be in trouble to wallow in stress - all she has to do is see stress in the distance over a few
hills, and panic begins to arise. This
sign is for those people who get nervous that they failed the final exam and
dread the impact that it will have their GPA before the grade has been
posted. I’m talking to the people who
think about buying your baby’s Christmas gifts in August and have a mini panic
attack because you don’t know where those extra finances will come from. Yes, you know that God can make a way, but he
didn’t make a way for Sally down the street who lost her house. What if you end up like Sally? You are a planner by nature, and that has
been one of your best traits for the most part, but worrying is an unfortunate side-effect
that you always regret in the end. My
dear, you have the orphan mentality.
Welcome to the club! (Let’s not
stay in the club, mmkay?)
2.Viewing
vulnerability as a Sign of Weakness
Quite
the opposite of sign number one, you are strong on purpose. You were most likely raised in one of two
environments: one where you were taught to never let anyone make you look weak,
or one where you were made to feel weak constantly. No matter what happens in this life, you are
determined to count it as a badge of honor and press forward. Faith is not an issue for you but…. you live
inside a stone house with no windows and no doors. You have emotions and doubts, but you wouldn’t
dare let them be seen. Relationships
prove to be difficult because your strength is your pride and joy, and you
remain guarded at all times. When you
finally have an emotional reaction to something, you surprise even yourself,
and you hope to God that nobody is around to witness it.
3.Believing
Harder for others than you do for Yourself
You
see a story about a three-legged puppy on the news and want to adopt him. When your loved ones are sick or hurt, you
are the one who keeps the faith. You pray. You pray HARD. (You are probably an intercessor weather you
know it or not) You believe that anyone
can be saved, and can’t conjure up the nerve to label anyone as a lost
cause. The problem is…. the faith you
have for others matches the doubt you have for yourself. You are extremely self-critical, and you find
yourself feeling guilty for things that God already forgave you for. When you pray for your own health, finances,
or well-being, you beg and plead hoping that God would see fit to drop a
blessing on little-old-you like you’ve seen him do for others.
4.Constantly
Waiting for Your “Moment”
You
sit in what feels like the background and watch others advance to the next
level. You are most likely not
completely clear about what your purpose is and you are waiting for God to give
you clarity. There’s nothing wrong with
waiting on God, but in the process you settle for much less than being
blessed. You fantasize about the days
ahead when you will finally live a comfortable life with a family that you
love. You have great faith that one day
you will be doing what you love and glorifying God in the process, but “it’s
not your season.” You will wait until
your time comes. You will watch people
excel and be genuinely happy for them. Depending
on how old you are, you may have come to a point where you start to wonder if
your moment will ever come.
5.Trying to Fix
Things before Turning them Over to God
You
don’t know why you repeat this cycle every. single. time. You find yourself in a jam, and you
immediately go into Olivia Pope mode.
You have a plan of attack, and you even have plans B and C just in case
something goes wrong. You even consider
how you will cope emotionally if everything fails – yes, you have a plan for
avoiding an emotional breakdown. This
usually works until you hit one of those BIG bumps in the road. If you lose your job, you are on the internet
that same day updating and sending out resumes.
When a month or two go by and you haven’t had any interviews, though,
you start to lose hope as your “anti-breakdown” plan derails. Why is this happening? You put in all of the work, and you didn’t
cut any corners. Oh yeah – you forgot to
get on your knees and pray.
Okay, I’ve been
living like an Orphan. What Next?
Alright
– If you’re a number 1 then breathe, it’s not the end of the world, and it can
be fixed! (lol) Let me break something down for you all. We already know this, but sometimes we just
need a little reminder. Jesus DIED for
YOU. If you were the only person in the
world, he still would have gotten on that cross and died just so that you can
make it to heaven. You are a child of
the richest, most loving, and most generous man that ever was and ever will
be. When you accepted Jesus into your
heart, you became royalty. You have a
heavenly father who loves you and wants to give you the world – you are not
alone in this life thing!
So,
this is what I need for you all to do…….
#1
– Please, calm down (again). That
trouble will probably turn the corner before it gets to you, and if it happens
to actually make it to you God will work it all out in your favor! It’s the devil who whispers all of those
worries in your ear. How can you shut
him up? Praise GOD!
#2
– Strength is a virtue, it really is.
God did not intend for us to walk through this life alone – he loves us
through it, and he is faithful enough to send us people who will love us even
at our worst. Pray to him that he will
soften your heart and allow you to be vulnerable to those who truly love you
and have your best (godly) interest at heart!
#3
– God’s love for you outnumbers every grain of sand on every beach in the
world. He not only can do for you what
he does for others, but he wants to do that and more! He admires your heart. Allow yourself to be blessed – you deserve
it!
#4
– Patience is something to be proud of, but be careful not to become
complacent. You may not be a CEO
tomorrow, but in the name of Jesus, you are blessed TODAY! You don’t have to wait one second for your
moment to come to be blessed. You ARE
blessed!
#5
– You’re independent, and God made you that way. The bottom line is that you need him, and not
just after your plan fails. He lives to
take on your burdens and spin them into a beautiful masterpiece. Next time you have a problem, pray first and
plan later.
I
know this one was long, but I hope it blessed somebody! I will leave you all with a story (you knew
it was coming!) I was once watching Grey’s
anatomy, and a character (named George?) had recently died. His organs had been donated, and one of the
recipients felt SO guilty that she lived only as a result of his death that she
sat outside of the hospital where he worked and died every day and cried. Finally one day, one of George’s loved ones
saw her and became LIVID. She went to
her and commanded her to stop wasting what was left of him by wallowing in
guilt and sorrow. I would like to tell
you that the orphan is like that organ recipient. We go through life as though we are not
royalty while Jesus wears the wounds that he received as our ticket into the
kingdom. Let’s not let his suffering be
in vain. Live like the child of God you
are!
Food
for thought:
Isaiah
53:3 - But he was pierced for
our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that
brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed
Have an issue/idea that you would like to see
in a future blog? Email me at whitney.p.gordon@gmail.com. It’s confidential!